the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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