Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
