Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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