How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
