someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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