I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
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He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
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Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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