Rock
Scissors
Fuck
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
