There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
My vagina just recognized that song.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
