So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
