Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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