New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
just tell him i said nine months
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Randomize
