as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
