hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
