I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
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i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Are my feet made of real feet?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
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