I hate your face
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
