Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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