What did we do last night that was yellow?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i would one night stand the shit outta him
It's official drugs can't kill me
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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