I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
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