As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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