Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Randomize
