They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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