brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
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