fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
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