ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
