yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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