i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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