I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
