Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
