Im at strip club and am horny
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
