He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Someone signed my nipple.
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