VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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