doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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