im gay
i know
yea but for you.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
my liver is dry heaving
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
