they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Can Purell be used as lube?
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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