He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
