you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
How naked do you want me to be?
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