Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
he fucked my hip out of place.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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