why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
pop tarts are not kleenex
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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