I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
