What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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