the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
