I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
