hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize