I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize
