Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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