the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
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