Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
