Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Randomize
