i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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