Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
