there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
