Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
