It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I touched a dick in church today
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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