Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
