i need an iv and a liver transplant
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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