I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
