I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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