That's when you crack a 10am beer
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
