There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
