I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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