When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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