Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
