1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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