O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
