We're facebook friends in real life
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
