During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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