I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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