He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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