so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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