Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
