Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
